So today is her 18th birthday. At midnight exactly I sent her a text message wishing her Happy Birthday! And it absolutely warms my heart to see all of her friends and the people who love her filling her FB page up with birthday wishes.
Of all three of my childbirths, Ashley's was the toughest. She was my only C-Section and she was the longest pregnancy I had. She was born in the town of Carthage, New York because her father was in the Army and we were stationed at Ft Drum NY. I remember getting the call early that morning from the hospital telling me not to eat or drink anything, that they were going to have to perform a Csection on me. I was scared, but prayed that it would be okay. The delivery went fine. She was as strong then as she is now. She and I laugh about the story of when she was born, but won't embarrass her publicly.. but she knows the story! LOL Because she was a Csection we were in the hospital for about a week. It wasn't an easy week. I was in a lot of pain trying to heal from the delivery. But the most peaceful moment I had was in that room. The nurses brought her to me one night to feed her. After she was done, she fell asleep in my arms, in my bed, and I remember watching the snow falling outside my hospital window in front of the street light. I hadn't felt that at peace in a long time. I've always loved watching the snow fall like that, but now here was this amazing lil girl. I still remember listening to the sound of her breathing as she drifted off to sleep too. I can't say I've always done everything perfect or right as a parent. Heck there are times where SHE was the voice of reason in MY life.
Ashley came into this world headstrong and it's a trait she has never let go of. She is very driven and once she sets her mind to something, she goes for it. She absolutely amazes me. I wish I had had half her self confidence when I was in school. She is kind, and gentle, giving and considerate of others. She is the best friend someone could have because not only will she listen and lend a shoulder to cry on, she will also be brutally honest and not pull any punches. I don't think you ever really have to wonder where you stand with her. It's been amazing watching her grow up over the years. And difficult at times too. I've seen some of her growing pains and had to learn that as hard as I wanted to fix it all for her, the best thing for me to do is lend a soft shoulder of my own, listen and give her a hug when she needed it most. ( and stocking up on Ben and Jerry's helped sometimes too) I've listened to her gripe and complain. I've watched her have emotional melt downs and heartaches. She may seem thick skinned to most, but she really does wear her heart on her sleeve and has a very fragile soul. I know there is a lot in her life that I have missed out, and while I can't go back in time and get those moments back, I know all I can do is be there for the moments that I can be, and make the best of each one. I hope she knows how much I truly love her. And how I wish I could go back and do a lot of things differently. But I guess sometimes ya gotta lose til you win..right ? well I definitely WON with this one. I don't know what I ever did to deserve such an amazing daughter, but I am sure glad that God gave her to me and let me be her Mom.
Ashley - I could go on and on about how wonderful you are and how much you mean to me. I hope you see how wonderful you are not just to me but to everyone in your life and everyone's life that you touch. You are strong, beautiful, smart, giving, loving, amazing, and a gazillion other things that make you fabulous !! Thank you for being an amazing woman, an outstanding human being and the best daughter a mother could ever ask for.
Happy Birthday sweet girl.. Happy Birthday !
And remember, don't be afraid to love with all your heart, take chances, laugh out loud, cry when you need to, and always remember to play and be a kid !!!
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| Her first photo... love how she is showing her backside in the first one! |
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